How can I be an advocate for my dog?
This week I had to take my dog Kaslo into the vet for a lump check (don’t worry, he’s going to be fine.)
My dog isn’t what I would call an “easy” dog in situations like this; he is dog reactive and is not comfortable in close proximity to other dogs (hello veterinary waiting room), and is very nervous being touched or examined by people he doesn’t know and trust (hello vet team!)
I have done a lot of work with Kaslo and he has made great improvements in both areas, but still has boundaries and takes time to trust new people handling him.
At his vet appointment we were ushered into the building by a staff member he had never met before. I didn’t think much of it until the person grabbed the handle on the back of Kaslo’s harness to move him onto the scale and he froze, shooting her the dirtiest “what in the heck do you think you’re doing?” look.
Was this person trying to upset my dog? Of course not, they just wanted to weigh him. But for Kaslo, this handling, from someone he has never met, was not OK and made him anxious.
I’m grateful that I was quick to react in this situation, and politely, but firmly, asked the person to remove their hand as my dog was uncomfortable, and was able to verbally cue him to stand on the scale to get his weight.
While I did advocate for my dog, I also screwed up.
Sure, I spoke up and intervened, resulting in the cessation of the contact, but it’s what I didn’t do that put us in this situation in the first place.
I never should have assumed this person knew my dog and his boundaries. This was a new person to both me and Kaslo, and I should have given her a head’s up as to what space he needed prior to following her into the clinic.
Knowing that my dog is more comfortable with familiar staff, I could have made a request to have a specific technician work with him that day. This is not always something a clinic can accommodate, but it doesn’t hurt to ask or make my dog’s preferences known.
What does it mean to be your dog’s advocate?
The role of an advocate is to offer support to those who feel like they are not being heard and to ensure they are taken seriously and that their rights are respected.
When I talk about being a dog’s advocate, I am talking about being their voice. Speaking up on their behalf when their communication (body language) is being overlooked or ignored. Standing tall and ensuring that your dog’s body language is being taken seriously.
Stating your dog’s boundaries and guarding them.
Our dogs communicate mainly through their body language, but the vast majority of folks (yes, even those working professionally with animals) don’t know how to read or properly interpret body language. That might mean that your dog’s “voice” is not being heard, or properly understood, which can result in boundaries being crossed.
What does an advocate sound like?
Speaking up on your dog’s behalf doesn’t have to be fancy or eloquent.
You don’t owe the public a length explanation as to why your dog has a specific boundary - they just need to know that there is one.
Advocating for your dog may sound like “No. Stop. My dog doesn’t like that. Not today.”
You don’t need to be rude or aggressive, but speak firmly and with confidence. This is not a suggestion, it is not a request. Your dog’s boundaries are not up for interpretation or debate.
What are some challenges we face when advocating for our dog?
Speaking up for your dog might sound simple, but it is far from it. We are faced with numerous barriers when we try to advocate for our dogs, such as:
people not listening to your dog’s boundaries,
people not understanding your dog’s boundaries (thus finding it difficult to respect them),
people not respecting your voice and what you are trying to accomplish,
not knowing what to say,
feeling like a hassle or a burden for speaking up,
not knowing what your dog’s boundaries truly are,
finding your voice so you can speak up at all.
How to be a better advocate.
The more I advocate for my dog, the easier it gets to do so again in the future, but here are some tips that might help you be successful when tasked with this responsibility moving forward:
Learn about your dog - what do they like? What don’t they like? What situations or environments may you be more likely to have to speak up on their behalf? I find this information is best gathered through observing your dog, learning how to read body language, and then taking the time to watch and analyze your dog’s body language.
Be proactive - prior to entering a situation or environment that your dog might struggle in, have a plan in place. If it’s the vet, like with my dog, speak to the staff about your dog’s boundaries before you arrive for the appointment (and again when it’s time for the appointment). Pre-train behaviors that will make these situations easier on your dog, and will let you accomplish the task at hand without crossing your dog’s boundaries.
Prepare “scripts” and practice at home - I know, I know, we all hated role playing exercises in school, but they work! Think of situations where you have/might have to speak up for your dog, and prepare your response beforehand. Stand in front of the mirror and practice saying it until it feels easy to do so. Then, practice with a partner - maybe a family member or trusted friend. This will make it so much easier to find and deliver the words needed in a high stress environment.
Remind yourself why you’re doing this - when people scoff at your words, or judge your dog for having boundaries in the first place, don’t let them win. Remind yourself that you are your dog’s voice, and by speaking up for them you are helping them feel safe, secure, and being a guardian they can rely on.
People don’t have to understand or agree with your efforts, so long as they respect the boundaries you are putting in place. Be strong, and be firm. Your dog will appreciate your efforts.
When it’s all said and done, don’t forget to stay awesome.
Vanessa
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Vanessa Charbonneau, is the author of Dog Care for Puppies: A guide to Feeding, Playing, Grooming and Behavior. She owns Sit Pretty Behavior & Training, employing force-free training techniques to work with companion dogs and their owners. Charbonneau lives in Prince George, BC with her husband, two daughters, and one dog.